“Where’s the guard!” Rotheram!

“There’s an economic miracle happening in Chattanooga” says Steve Rotheram. Like them, we should become a ‘Gig’ heaven. “I plan a digital ring from Daresbury to Southport, to leverage our existing infrastructure and skilled workforce to attract major global investment.”

Meanwhile Steve, why don’t you stand up for the Merseyrail Guards: See it, Say it, Sort it!

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Lovey Dovey

Thank god for the blessing Dove cream has provided,

the world is happy and undivided.

with one application of lovely white cream

everybody non-white lives the ultimate dream.

like turning to daylight from the darkest dark night

all can now say they are purely white.

No more racial tensions down in the ‘hood,

no drive-by shootings filled with blood.

No more lynching of some poor black fellow,

and it doesn’t matter who plays Othello.

No discrimination at work or play,

nothing nasty in what we say.

You’ll never hear the old ‘N’ word,

and even ‘coloured’ is absurd’

Football insults are not as chilling,

‘You white bastard’, is just not fulfilling.

None is said to be ‘half cast’ or even ‘dual’,

to talk like that would make you a fool.

But the police aren’t too happy, their job’s become harder

they can’t look at your skin and immediately charge yer.

Now we’re all living in harmony,

we’re all as happy as we can be.

Every heart is filled with love,

so let’s sing together, All you need is Dove,

All you need is Dove,

All you need is Dove, Dove,

Dove is all you need.

 

Arthur Adlen

We need more of you Josie Long

To have a theatre named after you in your home town means you have done something credible. The Brian Epstein Theatre, previously The Neptune, was closed for many years. This was a great disappointment to me as it is a beautiful and unique venue to watch musicians and comedians; with previous viewings such as Julian Cope, John Martyn and Loudon Wainwright the III. So returning this evening to the deserved renaming of the man who didn’t discover the Beatles, but moulded them into fame and stardom, still Liverpool’s biggest source of tourist income 47 years after they split, is rightly deserved. (more…)

This evening with Stewart, not Richard

The title refers to Stewart Lee’s once comedy partnership with Richard Herring, on BBC2 in the late 1990s. Their Sunday afternoon programme, ‘This Morning with Richard, Not Judy’ is a tedious link I admit. I had forgotten about Stewart Lee until his Comedy Vehicle programme on BBC2 was shown in the early 2000s, so watching him live, nearly 50, and full of cynicism, is rather refreshing. (more…)